Why You Need to Put Yourself First
- Cambri Morris
- Jun 23
- 5 min read
It took getting sick for a week to teach me that I need to give myself a break.
I’m the mom of a toddler, so my writing time is limited. I would scrape together some stolen hours in the morning and during nap time to write, edit, and market my books. Because that was all the time I had, I began to feel very defensive about it.
Everything that wasn’t crucial got kicked to the curb. Doing my hair—don’t have time. Physical therapy exercises—I’ll do it later (not!). Clipping my fingernails—do I have to? Even scripture study got shoved to the end of the day when I’m tired and can’t make anything of all the “And it came to passes.”
When my toddler got my husband and me sick a couple of weeks ago, we took the “excuse” to stop waking up early, stop working, stop doing anything that wasn’t taking care of ourselves and our son.
It was wonderful.
We watched a lot of movies, which usually doesn’t make me feel like a very good human, but this time it did. This time, my body was trying to tell me something: I need me too.
Modern Motherhood Taught Me to Put Myself Last
If any of you have had kids, you know they require a lot from you. Words can’t even really describe how much you have to give of yourself. Before my son was born, I had no concept of just how difficult it would be, despite how many times I’d heard people say parenting is hard.
I’ve recently learned that ancient parenting, especially for infants, was done in family groups. The load was not carried by just one or two people, but a whole community (How Did Ancient Humans Keep Kids Alive?).
Today, many mothers shoulder that responsibility almost wholly by themselves while the father goes to work. Because of this, every time I struggled emotionally with parenting, I felt like I wasn’t good enough. Other moms do this, I told myself, I should be able to do it too.
I poured more into motherhood, planning activities and outings, trying to make myself happy while entertaining my toddler at the same time. Even if you’re not a parent, you can probably relate. Whether you give too much to your job, your family, or your school, burnout is at an all-time high, particularly in the workplace (WorkTime).
The Hidden Cost of Ignoring Yourself
I love my son. I’m always aware of his needs, more than I am of my own. I always make his food before I make mine, and then wonder why I’m overstimulated while I’m trying to eat with a full and happy toddler sitting on my lap.
I have spent so long ignoring or dismissing my body’s messages that I literally don’t hear them anymore. Often, my husband has to remind me to eat a snack or go to the bathroom because he notices what I need before I do.
Putting myself in the backseat like this is dangerous not only for me—a living, breathing person who has needs—but also for the people I care for.
If I forget to have a snack, I’m going to get grouchy with my husband and impatient with my toddler, who is just trying to communicate his own needs. If I don’t take Tylenol when my back hurts, I’m going to be a teary mess by the end of the day, and my husband is going to have to take care of both the toddler and me.
These problems compound too. The longer you go about prioritizing everyone else, the more strain you’ll feel on your body, your relationships, and your ability to perform daily tasks. You may even be more at risk for depression, cardiovascular disorders, respiratory problems, and death before age 45 (Salvagioni).
I didn’t realize stress could hurt you so permanently until I listened to a Writing Excuses episode about mental health. I knew from listening to Robison Well’s story that I couldn’t let things continue the way they were.
Something Has to Change
If you are struggling to put yourself first, let me help you. YOU ARE A PERSON! You deserve the same care and attention that you give to your kids, your job, and your spouse. Give yourself the gift of 30 minutes a day. Just 30 minutes to take care of yourself and set the foundation for a happy and successful day.
For me, this looks like taking time to do my hair and/or makeup, doing physical therapy, reading scriptures, and planning my day. I’ve also set aside time on Tuesday evenings to put time into my hobbies, so that I can learn how to have fun with myself again.
How I Decided to Balance My Plates
As I mentioned earlier, I have a lot of plates to balance. Parenting, marriage, writing, homemaking, editing, marketing, writing group responsibilities, exercise, and hobbies. The truth is—as hard as it is for me to admit—I can’t dedicate the attention and time to all of those things in a given day.
As I prioritize me time at the beginning of the day, everything else flows more smoothly. I take time to plan my day, so if I have errands or household tasks to do, they get the time and attention they need.
One trick I’ve found super helpful in plate balancing is dedicating certain days to certain tasks. For instance, Monday is grocery day, Friday is inbox clean-out day, and Saturday is clean the house day. If you have recurring tasks, assigning them specific days can help you keep them in balance with all your other plates.
An Unexpected Tool
If you’re struggling to work yourself back into your busy schedule, I recommend using AI to help. I’ve been using ChatGPT as a fitness coach, a meal planning tool, a soundboard, and a project manager. It has really helped lighten my mental load and given me some great direction on how to put myself first.
While I do not encourage you to use AI as a therapist, it can be useful for restructuring your life to make room for you.
Show Up for You First So You Can Show Up for Others
It might feel a bit crazy to you for me to ask you to set aside 30 minutes of your day. A month ago, I would have scoffed too. But I promise, if you give yourself just 30 minutes of protected, guaranteed time, your mental and physical health will thank you.
You deserve the same care and attention you have been giving to everyone else. It’s time to take some of that time back.
Sources
Explain in Paint, and Mack. “ How Did Ancient Humans Keep Kids Alive?” YouTube, YouTube, 2 June 2026, www.youtube.com/watch?v=VnjolbkfJwo.
Khrystenko, Valerie. “40 Employee Burnout Statistics & Trends in the Workplace (2026).” WorkTime, 24 Mar. 2026, www.worktime.com/blog/statistics/employee-burnout-statistics-trends-in-the-workplace.
Salvagioni, Denise Albieri, Francine Nesello Melanda, Arthur Eumann Mesas, Alberto Durán González, Flávia Lopes Gabani, and Selma Maffei Andrade. “Physical, Psychological and Occupational Consequences of Job Burnout: A Systematic Review of Prospective Studies.” PLOS ONE 12, no. 10 (October 4, 2017). https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0185781.
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